This is so true 💔... A Bereaved Parent’s Battle Cry This is a bereaved parent’s battle cry. I’m tired… tired of having to hide how I am truly feeling from the rest of the world. Tired of having to put on a fake smile every time I go to work or a social event, so people around me will think I’m doing better. Tired of wanting to post something about MY CHILD – yet I don’t because people are “tired of seeing that.” So I hide. I hide and post in one of my bereaved parent groups because that is the only place “I feel safe enough to show my real feelings and won’t be judged.” Why the hell should I have to hide my feelings about my child?! Do others have to hide their feelings about their children? Do other parents have to watch “how many times” they post about their son or their daughter’s soccer games or recitals or first steps or proms or births – or anything that they rejoice in? No – you know why? Because other people will rejoice with them! They are not looking for pats on the back because they are that child’s parent. They are proud of their children. PERIOD! So why… WHY IS IT DIFFERENT FOR BEREAVED PARENTS? We don’t have future proms… or recitals… or births… or first steps. We have memories. That.is.it! We post about our children because… we are proud of them just like any other parent. We want people to support our memories with the same encouragement with which they used to support our accomplishments and milestones when our children still lived! Say our child’s name! Share a memory to our page of that child! Rejoice with us! Please don’t forget about my child. And on those hard days when we post that we miss our child, and we say we can’t go on, whether it is two months or 10 years later – please understand, we are not looking for a pat on the back or sympathy. We want you to remember that child with us! Please… Memories are all we have left…

While I sat in our room in Helen House I came across this poem. It describes how I feel but can never put into words, i cannot read this without crying “Imagine” Imagine being told your child is seriously ill. Imagine crying until you think there’s nothing left. Imagine feeling like you’ve been punched in the stomach and wandering the corridors, as if your life was on pause for days on end, not able to comprehend what is happening. Imagine signing a consent form knowing that death is an option. Imagine having to hand over your child to surgeons for endless hours and waiting… Imagine having to watch as your once active child isn’t even able to open their eyes for a week. Imagine the terror… Imagine the pain of having to leave your baby in the care of strangers and not being able to sleep by their side. Imagine standing by as your baby’s body is pumped full of poison. Imagine holding your baby while someone holds a mask over their face as they struggle in fright. Imagine holding your baby countless times while someone sticks needles in them while they scream. Imagine the guilt… Imagine being told the percentage chance that your child might survive or leave you. Imagine watching as within two days your child loses all their hair. Imagine losing all your independence and identity and just becoming someone’s Mummy. Imagine not being able to leave the house for fear of infection. Imagine not being to able to make any plans apart from hospital visits. Imagine being stuck in isolation and not seeing anything but four walls for days on end. Imagine learning a whole new vocabulary of words which is all you talk about anymore. Imagine good friends being too uncomfortable to see you or speak to you anymore. Imagine the loneliness… Imagine perfect strangers passing comment about your child But with the emptiness … Imagine the kindness of strangers who don’t know you Imagine the incredible support from people you’ve never met but know how it feels. Imagine how special each cuddle is that you feel the need to memorise it. Imagine the magic of each smile knowing that this smile was lost for weeks and now it’s back Imagine how fragile and precious life feels September is Childhood Cancer Awareness month, if I hadn’t told you, would you have known? It’s swept under the carpet as a taboo subject. Imagine if it couldn’t be taboo in your world, because it was your world… Imagine if I had known the symptoms, Imagine if all GPs knew the symptoms, Imagine if you felt you had the power to help others, not be in the same position… Imagine … Don’t pity, don’t sympathise, just spread awareness and just imagine, because it could be you ….. And all I can add to the poem is Imagine you & your child going through all this and not getting the ending you've prayed for.... imagine living your whole life without your baby.

We hope that you find this tribute to Maisie Moo a place of comfort, support and inspiration for you to visit whenever you want or need to.